My soul on the go
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Ainda bem que eu não sou correto (e nem hetero!)
Decidi que vou fazer o blog bilingue! Vou sempre postar em duas línguas, o que não significa que vou fazer traduções exatas, mas tentar dizer o mesmo em inglês e português! E é isso aí!
Esse é um post de aniversário! =D O post é um pouco feliz, mas também sujeito a certa turbulência. Se tudo bem pra você, é só ler!
O meu aniversário de 2010, dia 16 de dezembro, foi o mais diferente de todos. Acordei com a chuva em Amsterdam. Eu estava sozinho e Amsterdam molhada (primeiro anúncio do final da noite).
Eu tentei sair um pouco, mas tudo que consegui fazer foi ficar ensopado- coisa que eu informei à Finlandesa chapada que estava no mesmo quarto do hostel que eu. Eu queria muito sair, afinal de contas era meu aniversário E minha primeira vez fora do Brasil. Mas realmente não ia dar certo e eu acabei lendo e pegando no sono.
Quando eu acordei já eram 6 da tarde e aí eu decidi que mesmo que estivesse chovendo eu sairia. Queria ir ao cinema que eu tinha visto que existia no caminho pro hostel no dia anterior. Quando eu fui olhar pra ver se ainda estava chovendo eu ganhei um presente: neve! Pela primeira vez na minha vida! Fui até o cinema e assisti “Burlesque” com a Cher e a Christina Aguilera às 19h15 e fiquei todo empolgado quando terminou o filme! Afinal que vida muito legal essa das artistas de cabaret (e mais uma vez se anunciava o final da noite!)
Comprei uma garrafa de vinho do porto por menos de 12 reais e pensei: “Meu, eu sou o cara mais sortudo do mundo!”. Então eu me encharquei de sabedoria alcoólica e fui para o Distrito da Luz Vermelha em Amsterdam. Fiquei andando por lá olhando as meninas nas vitrines. Elas eram sorridentes e tudo parecia feliz e divertido. O mais legal era como eu sentia que estava entre amigos e eu disse a mim mesmo: “Bom, eu tenho tido alguns problemas em ser gay*, acho que vou tentar fazer algo hetero”. E foi assim que eu gastei 500 reais pra descobrir que eu DEFINITIVAMENTE NÃO sou hetero.
Não, não vou contar mais nenhum detalhe, mas depois de chorar por um tempo gigante sentado à beira dos canais do centro de Amsterdam eu percebi uma coisa importante sobre mim:
Eu não curto profissionalismo. Mecanicidade em relações me deixa bravo. Tudo que é reto e automático demais me faz pensar que algo a mais deveria sair dali.
Eu já tive um amigo que me disse que eu não poderia ser hetero porque se assim fosse eu me encaixaria na sociedade. Eu acho que ele tem razão. Eu sou um cara torto e gay também! E estou muito feliz e orgulhoso de ser assim! =D
*mais sobre isso se você for paciente o suficiente pra esperar, ansioso o suficiente pra perguntar ou íntimo o suficiente pra adivinhar
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Once upon a time, there was a monkey…
Legends tell about a monkey whose virgin owl mother - Macaca is the name by which most people call her - gave birth to in a time unknown to mankind. He has ever since travelled around looking for adventure and companionship. He came to be referred to as Corujo, a mysterious name from a land where bananas are abundant.
What I am about to expose is the short part of his story I was part of. This is not a requiem, just a farewell message to a beloved friend.
He came to me
First time I saw Corujo, he was around those multi-enticing corridors which lead to the cashiers on a supermarket. He was there, looking blankly at the people who would just walk past him and give him no substantial importance. He looked at me and I was instantly captured. I knew he was special the moment I saw him and decided I had to take him home with me. Deep inside I also felt he wasn’t a product, but how was I supposed to take him out of the supermarket, without “buying” him? My adventure with him begun!
I walked back from the corridor and looked everywhere in the store for another monkey toy like him but there wasn’t any. Then I took him to the counter and the lady had a hard time finding his barcode. We were getting worried he wouldn’t be able to come with me when I suggested she should sell him for the price she had found for another product. I never payed for “him”, really! It was just his ticket out of that place.
A long celebrated friendship
Corujo and I went to many places together. Like myself, he enjoys seeing people and he attended my English lessons at a fairly regular rate. He got to know my students and some of them became very close to him. Some of them even took him home for a few days, only to return him, with an ever increasing satisfaction imprinted on his plastic eyes. Little did I know it was his fascination with living and learning that would get us apart one day. But then again, wasn’t this same thing that got us together in the first place?
Different groups of students would treat him in unique ways. Some would say he was a girl and give him dresses. Some would give him shoes (he wore them for quite a long time). He was once a soldier. He had eyelashes painted (and carefully removed by me since he looked too girlish for my taste) and he was always trying to get to know more and more people.
Friends from the distance
His journey to the distance had its first glimpse when he met Ivo and Elena. These two magical kids (born from a powerful witch who can make delicious potions) were the first to show Corujo something he didn’t know to the date: there were people who came from that place where the language I was always teaching was spoken all the time. He got thrilled but he wouldn’t tell me so.
The day I decided to take a trip to the other side of the globe I had the intention of bringing Firminn, my pet rat, with me. It was all set but then I looked at Corujo and his eyes were showing me I would have to take him. That spark you can only see when someone really cares was what made me bring him to my journey far beyond.
You say goodbye, I say hello
Corujo took the plane with me, we enjoyed some days together until the Chaos Coldwind storm struck hard on the place we were. We faced the Chaos devil with our mighty attacks and eventually vanquished it.
We went for a rest.
Our last together.The truth is: Corujo had faced the cold and he fell in love with it. His love for adventure had led him to that place where he finally could see the people who spoke the language he loved the most. He spent the night looking out the window to a Snowman. And in the morning I couldn’t find him no more.
Farewell to a friend
We tend to see separation as a horrible thing. The fact is that whenever we are sepparated from something or someone, we can reunite with others. I am sure Corujo will find new friends just like he found me. And because he met me before, I will be friends with them too. I feel happy to have experienced so many adventures with him and I will never forget his strenght and courage when fighting for what he believed. Corujo! Wherever you are, you are the most beloved monkey and I hope you make more and more people joyful along the way! I am proud of being part of your story and I hope we can one day join forces again!
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Thank god I’m not straight
This is a birthday post! =D
It’s somewhat happy, but it is also subject to some bull@#$% on the way! If you’re on to some, then let’s go!
First of all, why post it in English? Well, I guess English is what made it all possible (“all” meaning coming to Europe!) and I guess it just makes sense to make it available worldwide (pretentious? haeheah)!
The 16th December, 2010 was my most curious birthday ever! I awoke with the sound of rain and it wasn’t just reminiscences of my dreams. Amsterdam was wet (I’ll get back to that later on!)!
Wanna know how I got here? Maybe on the next post! =D
I tried getting outside but all I managed to do was getting soaked - and I told that to the Finnish girl who’s sharing the room with me (I don’t think she gave a damn ‘cause she’d had two sets of our friend Mary Juana just before I got there). I really wanted to go outside since it was my birthday AND my first time abroad! But it didn’t work. I got back home, read a little and got to bed.
When I woke up again it was 6PM and I decided to go outside, no matter what. Being a Nerd, I thought it would be great to go to a cinema and just yesterday I had found my way from the hostel to a Pathe cinema! I opened the window and I saw something I’d never seen before: snow! Then I watched “Burlesque” at 7.15PM and I was thrilled when I got out!
I bought me a Red Port Wine for 3.50 euros and I thought: “Ain’t I the luckiest guy on Earth?” and, after being drenched in alcoholic wisdom, went to the red square. I went round and round looking at the girls there! =D They were smiling, seemed happy and fun! The exciting thing about it was how it felt like being among friends! And then I told myself “Well, I’ve been having some problems being gay*, I might as well try on something straight”. And that is how I spent 200 euros to get to know I am DEFINETELY NOT straight.
No, you’re not getting any further details on that, but after crying my eyes out on one of the canals from Amsterdam centre, I realized one important thing about myself:
I can’t stand professionalism. Mechanicity in relationships really gets on my nerves! All that is too straightforward and automatized gets me thinking there should be more to that.
Once I had a friend who told me I couldn’t be straight ‘cause being so would make me fit the role society had imposed me. I guess he was right! =D I am gay material and I am happy and proud about being so! =D
*more on that if you’re patient enough to wait, eager enough to ask or intimate or smart enough to guess
